Why do people enjoy anal sex and why should you be afraid of it?
The initiator of anal sex in heterosexual couples is often men. Because: This is a new exciting experience, and still it is believed that the initiative of experimentation in sex should come from a man. I don't particularly like this idea, so remember: whoever is interested, offers it. But motivation should be to offer a partner anal sex because it's interesting and it's quite healthy.
Because it is fashionable. In general, everyone tried it, but some did not. Yes, porn has greatly popularized this practice, but in a very distorted form. Therefore, often men who want precisely a repetition of a plot from porn, upon presentation of safety measures, simply deflate. Because the feelings during anal sex are really different for him. No, the rectum does not compress its penis along its entire length, a narrow section is approximately 12-17 inch. Butanal penetration can indeed create a feeling of a more tight girth than with vaginal sex. It excites a man and brings to orgasm by leaps and bounds.
In details, for him, anal sex means of domination. Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to separate sex from emotional impurities. And if the perception of sex is distorted, a person can use it to express their needs for dominance (it has nothing to do with BDSM, if anything). Such men are usually rude in sex, oral contact for them is limited to blowjob, and anal can be very traumatic - after all, he is not interested in the comfort of a partner. This is a new element for your sex life. No matter what they say, diversity in sex is very important. And it's quite normal to look for different options to bring it.
Why do women want anal sex?
I'll make a reservation right away, I'm not even considering all kinds of things "because he wants to", "in order to keep a partner" as an answer to this question. Because it is not about desire, it is about coercion. And voluntariness is no less important in anal sex than in any other sexual practice. Because it's interesting. Yes, women are no less than men actually interested in expanding the sexual range and finding a new one. Just often shy to offer. Because it is fashionable. For example porn, in which the actresses experience orgasm only by touching the anus with a member is not true. There is a lot of preparation and acting on the set.
As you can see, your motivation and your partner's can be completely different. And it is important to discuss this in advance: after all, the motive determines the course of action.
Why are you afraid?
"Only gay men have anal sex." The fear of finding homosexual tendencies within oneself (as if there is something bad in this) is especially strong in men - and inhost role (often), and in the giving (less often, but also happens). In fact, rumors of the value of anal intercourse in male homosexual couples are very exaggerated. Anal stimulation, as we have already figured out, can be pleasant for purely physiological reasons. And this practice has nothing to do with sexual orientation. "Because it's dirty. " To put it this way, sex is not a very clean thing at all. Drooling, sweat, sperm, lubrication ... But with the right anal sex, there is no direct contact with the secretions from the direct intestines, and in this sense it is more hygienic than, for example, oral sex, for which many neglected protection. "Because it hurts." No, it should not hurt during anal sex. Not in by no means. As a rule, pain is a signal that you are doing something wrong. And if you do everything as it should be, you will get pleasure.
Things you need
Lubricant - Yes, there is no natural lubrication in the rectum. And it is critically necessary to use a special lubricant intended for anal penetration! Lubricant may be a water or silicone based - both options are compatible with condoms, but the silicone lubricant can not be used with sex toys made of silicone. It is not possible, as a lubricant for anal sex, to use vegetable or massage oils. They are comedogenic, that is, they close the pores and provoke inflammation. Moreover, they do not do the most important thing - not relaxing. A good anal sex lubricant comes with relaxing additives. This makes penetration comfortable. But lubricants with painkillers are strongly not recommended. First of all, you will miss the moment when something goes wrong and you will be injured. Secondly, painkillers just make the area temporarily lose sensitivity. That is, you both will not get pleasure.
Condoms - During anal contact, there is a risk of contracting all STDs that can be transmitted through vaginal sex. HIV can be found in semen and precum, and micro damages of the rectum, which during anal sex are very frequent, can be completely invisible, contribute to infection. Direct sperm in the gut will agitate the host organism. Dysbacteriosis and decreased immunity can increase chances of transmission. In the rectum, there are many bacterias that are absolutely not friendly to the environment or urethra. And no enemas will create sterile purity there. With unprotected anal sex, bacteria happily settle in the urethra of the giving side and cause inflammatory process that is, ultimately, can lead, for example, to prostatitis. It is impossible to alternate anal and vaginal penetration. If to vaginal microflora anal is tolerant, then the reverse story will cause a huge number of problems (and it doesn't matter what was shown in porn). So use condoms, and if you want to alternate penetrations - just change them. Choose condoms of increased strength - such are made, for example, by Lelo.
Sex toys Butt plugs, plugs, starters, chains, etc.
How to use them - The most important to know is that the toy should be comfortable for the receiving side of the size and always with a stopper - a wide "leg" at the base, which will not allow the rectum to pull it inward. The toy can be made of hypoallergenic silicone, glass and even wood. Be sure to use a lubricant (for silicone - only water-based), and after - wash the toy. It will take a special tool for cleaning toys that kills bacteria and smell, but does not destroy the material of the device. Glass toys can even be boiled. If the same toy is used for several partners, it is better to wear a condom on it. Toys that mimic oral caresses - devices with soft tongues or running balls, as, for example, Lelo Ora.
Wet wipesAnything can happen, and so keep wet wipes on the bedside table near the bed. And yes, before you start the practice, talk with your partner.
Enema is not the most healthy item to use. In directall the same bacteria live in the gut. And leaching of the natural environment will not lead to anything good. It's much better to monitor your diet and eat more saturated fiber products, so that the process of natural cleansing of the intestine passes without problems.
A little more about the physiology of anal sphincters in humans two. The first, external, we can strain and relax at will. The second, internal, does not obey the conscious control. It is he who complicates the process of anal penetration and can make it painful. Therefore, the prelude before anal penetration should be aimed specifically at sphincter relaxation. And yes. The idea that sphincters can be "developed" is very bad. They must maintain their ability to contract - otherwise, they will not fulfill their functions. Yes, anal caresses, if done correctly, will become more and more enjoyable over time - but this is because you and your partner will find the most working techniques, practices and postures for you. In the body, nothing will change.